just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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