Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
