I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
