was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
