Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
His nipple licking is glorious
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