What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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