i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize