I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize