Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize