im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
