wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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