My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
