Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
