you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
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I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
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I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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