guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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