Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet