i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.