last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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