everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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