why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
