I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
