Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
