she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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