Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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