if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
