is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
