at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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