If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
