this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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