If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
