I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We need to get me chipped asap
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
