new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
