Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven