Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.