How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize