I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
