i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
