I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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