We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
