Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
