That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
