I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
