I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
