My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
