I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize