Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
