We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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