You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
