omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
