i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
