I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
