I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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