watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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