You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
