What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
