y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
