i just wanna soil my oats bro
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
